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Cock Shot

Everybody scorns the cock shot.  There’s no denying that guys who use ill-lit photos of their dicks as profile photos or send them unsolicited to women on the Internet have some issues. Honestly, given the overwhelming negative response to this sort of behavior, I find it a bit baffling that it continues to occur at all.  The complaints I see about the cock shot start reasonable: “I don’t even know this guy, what makes him think I want to see what he keeps in his pants?” Then they take it a step further–“no one wants to see your cock,” or “male genitals just aren’t attractive.”*  And I agree that seeing a strange man’s dick is pretty much never going to hit my to do list. My response to random messages containing them is usually to roll my eyes and block the sender, on the theory that whatever he was thinking when he sent it, it probably wasn’t something I’m interested in.

But.

That doesn’t mean the cock shot is never welcome. The keyword above is “unsolicited.”

The new guy–let’s call him the Techie –and I text a lot. We throw in pictures sometimes. Photos of dinner if that’s what we’re talking about, or his latest “look what I picked up at the hardware store” project, mostly. I’ve tossed in a few self-portaits in fetishwear or nude when we flirt. When I sent him a proud shot of chicken enchiladas, he responded with beer brats. When I send him a racy nude, he sends back his own.

I fucking love it.

You have to understand, I’m a complete reaction junkie. If I send a partner or a friend an erotic picture, I want a response. The polite that’s-nice-but-I-shan’t-comment-lest-you-think-I’m-objectifying-you responses are less than desirable. Frankly, I find them rather ego-deflating. Comments of enthusiastic appreciation–“My mind keeps wandering to you in that corset, it’s making it difficult to focus at work,” “The next time you make that face, I want to be there.”–are better, though I get flustered and shy about them. How am I supposed to respond? “Gee, thanks”? It kind of ends the conversation.  My favorite responses are descriptive. I want specifics, details. What exactly are these fantasies, did I cause blushing or goosebumps or a moment of quickening pulse? A photo does one better. I get to see what reaction I provoke, I get a lovely bit of sexiness of my own to look at, and the whole exchange gets amped up that much more. Responding in kind helps create a lovely feedback loop of desire that can keep me smiling all day. So yeah, sometimes a picture of a cock is exactly what I want to see.

So what makes the naked pictures desirable? Relationship, for one. A sexual partner or sexual interest who expresses desire to see one’s nudity is someone it’s appropriate to send a nude photo to. Without consent, it’s just a bit creepy. Creepy does not make a good first impression.

Second, consider context. Sending a racy picture cold or in the middle of another conversation creates a bit of a WTF? moment. With the first, there’s a higher risk that the image preview will be seen by someone else in inappropriate context. (My phone is ALWAYS either in my hand or in my purse or pocket, but some people will set theirs on a desk or hand it to someone to show them a picture or website.  It’s worth being careful of.) The latter would just be bit jarring. When flirting, though? I’ll always say yes to an added dimension. Words are great. Words with visuals are better.

Third there’s the photography itself. This is true for female nudes as well, by the way: I have just as much disdain for a poor quality photo of a woman’s body or any of its parts as I do for a man’s, and most people’s attempts at erotic photography of themselves are pretty abysmal. There’s this ridiculous idea that men’s bodies are inherently unattractive and lacking in artistry, while women’s bodies are beauty personified, which I think contributes to lazy photography among both.** After all, if men can’t be sexy, why worry about poses, framing, lighting, or anything else? It’d just look farcical, right? And if a woman’s body is conventionally attractive, why bother cleaning the bathroom mirror or keeping rumpled castoff clothes*** out of the shot or anything else? No one will look at the background if there’s a naked chick in the foreground, right? I don’t expect studio quality work, but a bit of care is nice. Mr. DIY is pretty brilliant behind the lens, which makes our current game lots of fun for me.

The point is, naked pictures–even anatomical close ups****–are fantastic when created and used responsibly. They’re worth having fun with.

*That’s just not true. Our species is not in fact divided into “yum” and “dear God keep your pants on” based on SRY activation, okay?

**No, I’m not addressing folks who don’t fit the gender binary. Yes, they’re people too, but someone not part of the traditional gender binary is less likely to indulge in self-referential behaviors determined by social gender expectation.

***Dear every woman who makes K&P and is not being photographed in a studio: do your damn laundry. Make your damn bed. If you can’t, at least don’t include the mess in the shot.

****I have a thing for hands and wrists. Just tossing that out there, in case anyone reading this has a particular desire to show off his/her/insert-preferred-gender-neutral-possessive-pronoun palmaris longus or any of the visible carpal bones. Swoon.

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Categories: Uncategorized Tags: , ,
  1. writingthebody
    April 24, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    Yes I love hands and wrists too….funny though, I thought your thing might be your own lovely ankles and feet….no, like you, close ups of anatomy of people I do not know does not do it for me either….fun post.

    • gingernic
      April 24, 2013 at 10:50 pm

      Eh, feet are neutral. I just enjoy showing off shoes. Hands though? Yes please!

      • writingthebody
        April 25, 2013 at 3:26 am

        :)

  2. Peroxide
    April 24, 2013 at 6:11 pm

    It is damn hard to take an aesthetically pleasing picture of one’s cock. (Even when ordered to, and you sorta find cock aesthetically pleasing.)

    • gingernic
      April 24, 2013 at 10:49 pm

      It’s going to be difficult if you’re shy or nervous. Step one: good light, no flash. Step two, frame the shot well. Step three: play with different poses, angles, &c. I know you have hot pictures of women with strap-ons at least in your collection; you post them sometimes. Look at what makes the better pictures stand out, and emulate!

      • Peroxide
        April 25, 2013 at 5:54 am

        Good lighting is hardly doable in my room, and It usually takes at least half a dozen tries to get the angle and focus right doing a self shot with a camera phone.

        I mean, I manage eventually, but it takes effort and is hard to do spontaneously, or while maintaining an erection. (Yeah, fiddling with camera setting with slippery fingers is not a turn-on.)

      • gingernic
        April 25, 2013 at 10:51 am

        Oh, man. It’s possible, I promise! You have me a bit tempted to throw together a dirty picture how-to post now, though the mental image of fiddling with camera settings with slippery fingers is amusing. Maybe continued fumbling should be encouraged..

  3. April 26, 2013 at 1:37 pm

    I will totally send you sexy hand/wrist pictures, if you’re seriously asking for some. :D

    • gingernic
      April 26, 2013 at 2:02 pm

      Woot! You are the reason the Internet is awesome. I will always accept sexy hand and wrist photos.

      • April 26, 2013 at 2:04 pm

        What other body parts do you like (on a chick)? Maybe I can use those parts as a backdrop for the hand(s). :D

      • gingernic
        April 26, 2013 at 2:23 pm

        Oh my. I have a favorable opinion of bodies and their parts in general*. Hands are the only ones I focus abnormally on.

        *Parts should still be attached to their original owners. Buckets of reclaimed hands/ears/teeth/scapulae do not qualify.

  1. July 23, 2013 at 10:02 pm

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